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Transitions

10/5/2017

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Photo of leaves on the group. Life transition therapy. Counseling in Ballard.
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Dr. Jennifer Chain is the President and Owner of Thrive for the People.

It's been a few months since I last wrote on this blog. Since the last post, I have ended a job, moved to a new state, moved in with my partner,  and started a private practice. So much has happened and I feel almost like a different person from the one who last wrote in June. Through this time of transitions, I am reminded that transitions are hard. They are hard because they are full of instability and the unknown. They require so much physical, mental, and emotional energy to get through. I found myself feeling excited, fearful, anxious, on-edge, sad, overwhelmed, rejuvenated, creative, optimistic, and empowered.  So many emotions at once! Here are the three practices that have kept me grounded in the past few months: 
"There are times when the integrity of our foundation becomes compromised and we have to find new footing."
- Mark Nepo

Practice Self Compassion

As someone who has perfectionism tendencies and is hard on myself (as I mentioned in the previous post), I have found practicing self-compassion to be the key to a better relationship with myself. When I feel anxious about the future or obsess over details, I try to take a moment and tell myself, "It makes sense that I am anxious/stressed/overwhelmed/need control. Many people in my situation feel this way. I am still a worthy/lovable/competent person. I have been through challenging things before. I have the strengths and resources to make it through." In my compassionate statement to myself, I try to acknowledge that my challenges are shared by many others. I am not alone in my struggle or suffering and I am perfectly normal in my flaws and mistakes. The practice of self-compassion is shown to significantly improve our emotional wellbeing. Here is an excellent article written by Dr. Kristen Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, on the myths of self-compassion and the research supporting the effectiveness of the practice. Check out her very helpful website for more information and resources on self-compassion. 
Photo of a cup of coffee in bed. Counseling in Seattle, WA.

Slow Down

Another tendency of mine is to work as fast as I can to accomplish a lot. This tendency in and of itself is not a bad thing. In fact, it has helped me to, well, accomplish a lot. However, the cost of this pace of working is burnout. During the recent transitions, I found myself feeling very impatient with all the things that I needed to do in order get settled, find a routine, and start my business. There were a few days when I pushed myself and my partner way too hard and the result was exhaustion, grumpiness, and conflicts. In contrast, when I have been intentional about slowing down, enjoying what each moment has to bring, and trusting the process, I have found more joy and energy. For example, when I take time to meditate in the morning, I find that I have more brain space the rest of the day to get things done and feel at peace. Here is a great article on the benefits of slowing down, which surprisingly, includes being more productive. ​

Reach Out and Connect

​Transitions can be a lonely experience. I left a strong community of friends and mentors behind when I moved. Although I am loving the new city and excited to make new connections, reaching out to strangers can be daunting and scary for an introvert like me. However, I know that the benefits of connections and relationships outweigh the costs. Talking with my friends and about my struggles have been normalizing and validating.  I have been so touched by the openness and generosity of strangers who have been willing to provide guidance and encouragement when I took the risk to ask for help.  I found it comforting to hear about other people's struggles with transitions. Recently, I read Dr. Christy Barongan's blog post on transitions and breathed a sigh of relief that I am not alone in feeling like a tantruming child during the most stressful part of the move.
How do you manage and thrive during transitions? Share with me in the comment section below. ​

Online Counseling in Seattle, WA

Transitioning into a new phase of life can feel daunting. Our emotions can reach a breaking point, and it can be hard to find stable ground. Our clinicians at Thrive for the People offer evidence-based treatment which will allow you to foster self-compassion and growth during this uncertain time. Contact us to learn more, or schedule a 15-minute phone consultation today. 
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  • Home
  • Our Team
    • Caitlin Laun, LMHC, SUDP
    • Crystal McGregor, LMHC
    • Julianna Fetner, LMFT
    • Jennifer Chain, PhD
    • Join Our Team >
      • Full-Time Clinician
  • Services
    • Depression Treatment
    • Anxiety Treatment
    • Trauma Treatment
    • Eating Disorder Treatment
    • Couples & Marriage Counseling
    • Perinatal & Infertility Counseling
    • Multicultural Counseling
    • Online Counseling
  • Fees
  • FAQ
  • Blog
  • Recommended Reading
  • Get Started