Internal Family Systems Therapy
Do You Feel Like You’re Fighting Yourself?
Maybe part of you wants to take risks and grow—but another part keeps you stuck in fear, shame, or self-doubt. Perhaps when it comes time to care for yourself, you feel overwhelmed or disconnected. You may even wonder: Why do I keep repeating the same patterns, even when I know better?
Instead of trying to “fix” you, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a compassionate, non-judgmental way to understand the different parts of yourself.
At Thrive for the People, we understand how hard it can be to live with that internal push-pull. You’re not alone - and you’re not broken. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to learn more about our in-office (Seattle, WA) and online therapy options and see if IFS therapy can be a good fit for you.
What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a compassionate and non-pathologizing therapy model that views every person as made up of a system of “parts.” These parts can carry memories, emotions, beliefs, and even protective behaviors to help us survive.
All of these parts are led by a core Self—a core state of presence and compassion that IFS believes everyone possesses. When we operate from Self, we are better able to lead our lives with confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence.
IFS is used across a wide range of settings, including individual, couples, and family therapy, as well as in education, coaching, and trauma recovery. It is especially effective in helping people navigate trauma, depression, anxiety, interpersonal conflict, and identity-related struggles.
The goal of IFS treatment is to heal the parts of ourselves that have become burdened by life’s hardships, so that the parts can work more harmoniously and allow us to interact with life in ways that align with our values and goals.
Is IFS Therapy Effective?
IFS has widespread use and appeal in individual, family, and couples therapy settings. Internal Family Systems has been recognized as an evidence-based therapy modality by the National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices (NREPP) since 2015. This means that it has proven to be an effective option in treating mental health conditions. Research shows that IFS:
- Improves emotional regulation, resilience, and self-esteem
- Reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression
- Supports long-term healing from trauma
- Improves general well-being, clarity, and self-leadership
IFS is a go-to modality for those seeking holistic and sustainable healing, especially when traditional therapy methods have made you feel disconnected from deeper emotional truths.
How Does Internal Family Systems Therapy Work?
At its core, IFS is based on the belief that human beings are all born with a system of internal parts of our personality, and that each part has a purpose.
Throughout life, we experience trauma, attachment wounds, social rejection, marginalization, or unmet emotional needs. Certain parts can turn away from their valuable roles and can become destructive.
IFS therapy helps you build curiosity and compassion toward these parts to help them transform. You’ll learn to unburden them and show them they don’t need to protect you anymore.
What Is The Goal of IFS Therapy?
Rather than eliminating parts, the goal of IFS is to create balance and harmony within your internal system, so all parts can exist and contribute their talents. This happens when:
- All parts are allowed to contribute their wisdom without taking over
- Your Self leads with calm, clarity, and connection
- Wounded parts are witnessed, heard, and healed, not silenced or exiled
This work often leads to profound shifts—not just in how you feel emotionally, but in how you make decisions, relate to others, and trust yourself in new ways. Supporting the Self allows you to become an effective leader of your system and be the ultimate decision maker, even when different parts are given input.
Understanding the Core Concepts of IFS
Parts
Your personality is made up of distinct parts that interact within yourself in ways that parallel how people interact. These parts communicate with you through thoughts, sensations, images, and emotions. While experiences affect parts, they are not created by experiences; we are born with them. Some parts are carrying burdens—extreme beliefs, emotions, or fantasies. When your system is overwhelmed, some parts use different strategies to try and gain influence over your system. But every part—no matter how disruptive—is trying to help.
Placing Parts Into Groups
Exiles - These are the tender, younger parts that have experienced trauma, shame, fear, or neglect. Exiles can become extreme and desperate because they want to be cared for, and they want their story to be heard.
Managers - These parts run your day-to-day life. They plan, perform, achieve, self-monitor, and try to prevent pain at all costs. Their main goal is to keep you in control of situations and relationships and protect you from hurt or rejection.
Firefighters - These reactive parts jump in to “extinguish” emotional pain that threatens to break through. They may use distraction or numbing tactics like emotional outbursts, disordered eating, substance use, or self-harm. They’re often misunderstood, but their goal is to put out emotional “fires” quickly.
Self with a Capital S
The Self is not just another part—it’s your natural inner leader. When you are in Self, you are calm, curious, compassionate, confident, connected, courageous, creative, and clear. These eight “Cs” of Self-energy guide the healing process in IFS.
When differentiated from parts, the Self is able to listen and respond to feedback. Therapy helps you strengthen your access to this grounded presence and make your Self the leader of your internal system with understanding instead of fear.
Relationships Between the Internal and External Systems
Once you begin to understand your own system, the next step is understanding that everyone you interact with has an equally complex system of parts that contain relative degrees of healing.
IFS recognizes that your system affects and is affected by the external system that you are a part of. When we’re harsh with our parts, we may also be critical or distant with others.
By healing your inner system, you create the capacity to:
Relate to others with empathy and boundaries
Resolve conflict without losing connection
Be more authentic in your relationships
Is IFS Right for Me?
Ready to stop fighting with yourself? Do you want another way to relate to the different pieces of your story? IFS is a supportive, inclusive approach for people who:
Are you looking for a more compassionate and holistic approach to healing
Want to better understand their behaviors, patterns, or triggers
Are you healing from substance use disorder, disordered eating, chronic pain, or anxiety
Experience challenges in relationships, communication, or intimacy
At Thrive for the People, we also integrate IFS into therapy for couples, families, and clients navigating identity, trauma, and relational healing.
Begin IFS Therapy in Seattle, WA
You don’t need to silence your inner voices—or fight them. With the support of an IFS therapist, you can understand your system, heal your wounds, and lead your life from a place of peace, strength, and alignment.
If you’re a Seattle resident who is seeking individual healing or wants to explore this work with a partner or family member, our therapists at Thrive for the People are here to help.
Ready to stop fighting yourself and start thriving?
Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with us today—we’d be honored to support your journey.
Seattle Counseling Office
Our office is located in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle.
5306 Ballard Ave NW,
Seattle, WA
Can’t make it into the office? We also offer online therapy for your convenience.
Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if we are a good fit.
