For many years I sabotaged my career and personal success by just not choosing a direction, or by putting minimal effort into my career choices. Not making a choice is still a choice. Looking back, I see that I was afraid of failure and success. Failure would mean the possible humiliation of having tried and not cutting it publicly; and, success would mean I would be put out of my comfort zone regularly. I would have to take big risks and expose myself to potential failure. I would have to admit my weaknesses and seek help from others. That way of thinking got in my way for a long time. Through years of feeling stuck, frustrated, and like I was on the wrong path, I finally started to question this way of thinking. Do I really need to tie my personal worth to my career status? Do I really want to make choices based on fear? I did a lot of personal work and finally came to a place where I felt confident enough to take bigger risks. I now understand self-sabotage through a much clearer and more compassionate lens.
What is self-sabotage?
How to identify career self-sabotage?
Why do we self-sabotage our careers?
The best ways to manage self-sabotage of your career:
- Practice self-compassion with setbacks, challenges, and mistakes.
- Learn to celebrate the small wins so you can embrace the big wins as well.
- Challenge negative self-talk and negative views of self.
- Be mindful of the emotional states and feelings which exacerbate this cycle.
- Work to identify and address the underlying beliefs and fears driving this behavior.
- Understand how your history shapes the way you experience success/failure and see yourself.
- Set boundaries, when needed. Learn to identify when saying no to something that serves you and when it doesn’t serve you.
- Check-in to see if your choices align with your values and who you are.
- Work with a mental health therapist to get to the root of the behavior, process your feelings around this, and establish healthier ways of coping.
Embrace the Process
Start Counseling with a Seattle Therapist
If you are struggling with self-sabotaging patterns in your job and career, you are not alone. Maybe this shows up for you in patterns of procrastination, perfectionism, or downplaying your accomplishments. You might struggle with taking risks to speak up, ask for what you want, and advocate for yourself in the workplace. Perhaps you know you are not meeting your full potential. If you are ready to break this pattern of self-sabotage in your career, our highly skilled therapists can support you on this journey. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with us today and see if we are a good fit for you.